the EPIC POP CULTURE STORY!

[Disneyland_DHI]

Okay, so along the lines of the Kingdom Keepers stories and Disneyland Story here on VF, here is one for POP CULTURE!!! Kinda like MEW's story on the movie people, but you can join in, and this lacks Disney and anything Disney-related (except for Disney Channel stuff and Muppets). Why? It's odd for me seeing Disney and classic things (like Anne of Green Gables) done in sort of fan-fictions. Maybe I don't like seeing creations of people who have passed on done in some sort of fan-fictiony or parody sort of way, which is odd because I'm fine with Kermit and co. in the story, but I guess we can make itty-bitty references to other Disney characters. If we do fairy-tale characters, I guess we'll do them in the Shrek way or regular way (with Cindy wearing a yellow dress, and not a blue one. And, please no hit and runs. Well anyways, think Darth Vader meets Fred. Or Helga Fawntinila meets Harry Potter. Edward Cullen and Spongebob Squarepants. King Roland from Mysims Kingdom meets the RCT3 Park Inspector. Feel free to invent characters. AND, when you jump in the story, you have the choice to literally "jump in the story." Here we gooooo!

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A long time ago on a galaxy far, far away.... Captain Kirk was lost in the midst of some trench.

"Why would anyone call something all metallic-looking a star?" the captain asked himself. He felt as if he was just going in circles in his rented X-Fighter. His mission was to pick up a sort of chemical from the Death Star Canteen (any Eddie Izzard fans here?) to bring in for investigating.

"I've always wanted to do this!" Kirk heard faintly coming from somewhere... The voice was so high-pitched, he couldn't stand it! Suddenly, he heard blaster noises, then all of a sudden, a large explosion so orange had hit his Speeder that it had singed his engine and he had gone crashing back to Earth! He was plummeting down so fast, the blackness of space had turned blue, and the stars had become endless, ghostly white lines that had shot past him immediately. Actually, to be more specific, it was if he stayed in place with air being blown towards him and Earth moving closer by the second.

If he could get a rearview from this endless tunnel, the Death Star, Endor, Hoth, Tatoonie, or any other planets on the map he had. He flew past a purple planet and a quick flash of a yellow dog was on it. Earth came closer! After a quick view of gold gates topped over a vast sea of white, he suddenly found himself underwater in a lake.

"Where am I?" he asked himself. Apparently, the lake was in a state named Idaho... Captain Kirk immediately swam to shore, where a small six-year old boy wearing sky blue sat on a bench....

[monkey4057]

The boy said, "Can I bury you? I can? Yay!"

"I never said 'yes'," Kirk responded in disgust and confusion.

"TOO BAD!" the boy shouted back...

[Disneyland_DHI]

The boy's voice was so annoying and high pitched! Kirk took a look at the black word that plastered the shirt. The shirt had read "Fred" in all capital letters with a backwards R.

"His name is Fred? He looks more like a Lucas to me... Lucases are stup--" Kirk thought.
"JUST LET ME BURY YOU, YOU STUPID MAN-PERSON!" Fred said.
"My name is Captain Kirk." Kirk said impressively.
"Oh my gosh, Fred! You're so Year One if you hang out with a Star Trek geek!" a voice said.
"Judy? No! It's not what you--"
"Save it, you loser!"

She then left. Fred was on the verge of tears. Kirk had felt sorry for calling him stupid, and also felt sorry for him in general.

"Listen, Fred--"
"OH MY GOSH! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME!"
"It's on your shirt!"
"Oh yeah..."
"Well, anyways, my name is Captain Kirk, and I am on a quest to stop a man named Darth Vader's minions--"
"Oh, so you're that guy from Star Wars? And isn't he your father? Why would you stop your father? AND you don't know his name????" I mean, if my father was doing something wrong, like escaping prison, but he loved it, I wouldn't sto--"
"THAT IS LUKE SKYWALKER! I--I-- I mean, can you show me around town?" the annoyed captain asked.
"Sure!" Fred said....

[Disneyland_DHI]

anyone? anyone? Guess I'll continue!
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"...that's the park! And that's the bar!" Fred said, pointing to the building that read, "BA" (the R was missing).

For two split seconds, the ground started rumbling from inside the bar until...

"FREE DRINKS ON THE HOUSE!" chimed from the inside.

All the customers were suddenly on the rooftop.

"Where're the drinks?" one guy said.
"That fuzzy guy lied!" said a big, burly man. Or was it a lady?

"HI MOM!" Fred immediately yelled to the burly woman. He even started waving enthusiastically.

"FRED IS THAT YOU?" the woman asked, "GET BACK HOME RIGHT NOW!"

"But mom! I'm showing this guy around town!!" Fred whined.

"DON'T 'BUT' ME! GET BACK HOME!!!!!! OR DO YOU WANT ME TO TELL JUDY IT WAS YOU WHO WROTE THOSE THINGS ON THE MEN'S URINAL BATHROOM WALL?!"

"Mom! That wasn't even me!" Fred said. By now, all the people disappeared as a frog and bear walked out of the place.

"I know! That was me! So git back home OR I'll make you stop playing with Bertha!"

Captain Kirk was shocked by Fred's mother's additude to her son and sometimes vice versa. But he was mostly shocked that she used the men's bathroom.

"That's okay! She was a friggin' --" Fred said. His last word was very inaudible as the crowds came walking out of the bar. Leading the way was an ugly chick in pink, that looked like a man. She was walking with an elder man with greenish skin and white hair, holding what looked like a pile of dark brown hair. It was moving! Fred brought Kirk's attention when he told him that they had to go home. Well, in reality, Fred had to go home, speaking to no one on the way back. But apparently, Fred chose to bring Kirk.

All of a sudden there were winds everywhere and just then...

[monkey4057]

...a total eclipse occurred.

After a strange humming, the light returned. Kirk noticed a bespectacled man taking a plant into a nearby flower shop. Kirk entered the shop, called Mushnik's, only to find the man had disappeared downstairs. No one else was around. Suddenly the silence was broken with screams of pain and kissing noises.

Meanwhile, in the kingdom of Far Far Away...

[MANEATINGWREATH]

Someone screamed "Avada kedavra!"

[Disneyland_DHI]

ah... welcome, foolish mortal! glad you've come along for the ride! but please, keep it over at least 5 sentences.
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But it was only a spider in a building that was killed. (A wizard had killed off a spider). Until a blinding flash shown through the windows, where people screamed and ran. It was worse than when all Prince Charming's army took over Far Far Away. People ran everywhere, a light flashed inside a paint store, and red liquid was seen running under the door crack.

Then the shopkeeper ran out of the door and screamed, "Someone help! There's been a wierd green spark, and it knocked over a can of red paint, now it's all running over the floor!"

Apparently, Avada Kedavra was a signal, as a big round ship landed on the ground. A hatch opened up, letting out a whole mass of smoke and redundant, but cool marching music started playing. BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM DE BUM! BUM BUM BUM BUM DE BUM DE DUN! A cloaked figure slowly walked out of the hatch, and had a weird mask on.

"IT'S HIM!" one lady yelled out.
"THE DARK LORD!" yelled out her husband.
"No, it can't be him! The dark lord can't breathe as he has no nose!" Yelled out a younger lady.
"Oh, yes, and I've heard of the Dark Lord, and he has no annoying breathing." Said the man.

"Annoying?" the masked figure asked himself. The trio that had called his breathing annoying kept talking about him, despite the fact there was mass chaos among the people.

"SILENCE!" He demanded. "I demand that you take me to your leader." All their hands were suddenly tied up as if there were invisible ropes. From there on out, they...

________

Back in Idaho, Fred and Kirk were walking back to the house.

"I wonder what your father's like..." Kirk said.

"He doesn't live with us," Fred said.

"Well, where does he live?"

"Death row... but that's okay! I can always play with the neighborhood squirrels!!!!" Fred replied, pointing to what looked like two pomeranians.

James Kirk had needed to get back on track immediately. "So about what I said earlier, would you like to join me in my mission to stop the forces of some guy named Vader?"

Enthusiastically, Fred said, "SURE!"

[monkey4057]

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a giant foot came down from the sky and squashed Fred. An ape-ish man with glasses and suspenders slid down the leg and turned towards Kirk.

"GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR!" the man bellowed.

"Excuse me, but why are you shouting?" asked Kirk.

"IT'S A DISORDER OF MINE I CAN'T QUITE FIX!" the man responded.

Kirk was a little put off. "Well," he continued, "if you haven't noticed, you've just crushed my annoying partner."

The man responded, "SORRY!"

Kirk had enough and went to catch the next train to New York...

[gurugriff100]

Where Casablanca Was Going To Meet Him At Seven Brothers On W. 49th Street.
He Needed To Get Something From Him. Kirk Caught A Taxi And Saw Casablanca Eating A Sandwhich.

"Hey." Kirk Said


Casablanca..........

[Disneyland_DHI]

....didn't hear him. Sooner or later his taxi dropped him off at the nearest restaurant. His stomach was so angry, it had started growling. Sounded like Chewbacca, really. That's because it was... Chewbacca and Luke were laying down in the trunk, trying to catch Kirk while playing rock paper scissors and Chewie had lost for the seventh time, making him mad.

He got off at the Waverly Place Substation. Inside, it was more of a subway station than a restaurant.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Europe, three adults were talking about how someone had used the infamous killing curse down at Far Far Away.

"It can't be Voldemort! Harry killed him in our la--!" Ron said.
"Ron, we weren't even there for school. We we--," Hermione was cut off.
"..were there to fight for Hogwarts and what we cared about." Harry finished boredly.
"I was going to say 'last encounter'..." Ron said.
"Let's just get down to Far Far Away." Harry said...

[monkey4057]

Since Casablanca would be no use to him, Kirk made his way down to Avenue Q. He managed to catch Rod and Nicky outside arguing about something.

"I can't believe you!""I said I was sorry!""250 bucks down the toilet!""Look, I'll exchange the Wii for cash and pay you back that way-"

"Excuse me," Kirk interrupted, "but can you guys help me with something?"

"Certainly," Rod responded.

The three of them sat down at the Around the Clock Cafe and discussed the mission. After some encouraging, the two puppets agreed to join.

Then Nicky said, "Hey, did you hear about that plant down at Mushnik's?"

[Disneyland_DHI]

"Plant? What plant?" Kirk asked, wondering if this plant had anything to do with the shrieks and kissing noises from the flower shop. "We should get going." Kirk said.

Just as he had said that, a news report came on a television monitor about Far Far Away and the attacks. The attacks were made by: A cloaked figure in black, a crazy man with green hair who is more commonly known as the Joker, some weird space man, and many others.

"Hey, do you think the space man is Darth Vader?" asked Nicky.
"No, a name like that would earn a cooler lookng suit!" said Rod.

So then they walked to the Museum of Natural History, where a night guard was talking with a guy in a fedora.

"Hello, gentlemen!" Nicky said. "Would you like to join us in stopping the evil Dirth Nadir?"
"Darth Vader," Kirk and Rod corrected him in unison.

"That guy stole my Rubix Cube!" yelled the night guard. "Just after the Smithsonian fight! He actually believed it was powerful!" The night guard's name was Larry.

"Oh, here take mine!" said the man in the fedora, more commonly known as Indiana Jones, more commonly known as Indy. He tossed Larry a weird glowing cube that was all one color: gold. Not only that, but it was glowing. Though all one color, it had funny symbols on each square. "It's something I aqquired on my most recent crusade."

There was a weird flash of light, and Indy was suddenly running through a closed FAO Schwarz. He instantly grabbed the cube, and made a run for it, as a big bouncy ball fell off a shelf and went after him complete with his theme song. Tuscan Raiders waited for him outside the store, but they all missed their cue as they were sleeping. He ran through the streets, and dodged cars that were about to hit him. With another bright flash, they were all back in front of the museum. Afterwards, Nicky and Rod started singing, "Now That We're Men" from the Spongebob movie. More people joined in, much to the dismay of Kirk, Indy, and Lary. Among these people were that greenish skin guy and the girl with the cat. Each sang their own special verses.

"Now that we're men/I killed my cat," sang the one in pink (Helga Fawntinilla.)
Inaudible noises coming from the greenish guy came out.
"Take it, Fred! Fred? He doesn't know the words, how sweet!" said Nicky.
PASS THE TEST! FINISH THE QUEST FOR THE WORLD!!!

[MANEATINGWREATH]

Meanwhile in the far away kingdom of Hyrule, a wee midget monkey played with a sword. This was no ordinary sword as this was the Master Sword, the blade of evil's bane. Meaning it kills all things evil and seals them in another dimension. This sword could be the key to the survival of the universe! How this monkey got the sword nobody knew but one person wanted it more than anybody else. Ganondorf, the evil wizard and king of thieves. Ganondorf killed the monkey with a single punch and took the Master Sword for himself, threatening to destroy it before it gets in the wrong hands, *hint* *hint*.

[monkey4057]

Just then, the King entered and said, "I wonder what's for dinner."

The very thought of dinner revived the monkey (who wasn't killed, but knocked out) and he set off for the Mushroom Kingdom. Upon arriving, he found out that seven Koopa hotels had been put up. Nearby, Luigi complained to Mario that he wouldn't get any spaghetti.

Meanwhile, in a dark and very expensive forest, Kirk suggested that the group camp out for the night (Indy took a tent to himself because Rod was creeping him out). Larry played the role of Watchman with his glow-in-the-dark flashlight. On the ground, he noticed an ad for a theme park within a theme park in Hollywood called Krustyland. Ignoring this, he noticed that the bushes behind him were shaking. Then who should pop out of the bush but...

[Disneyland_DHI]

isn't anyone gonna take over the Far Far Away part?

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Harry, Ron, and Hermione!

"Blimey, Harry! He's got one of those cool light-things! And it glows!" said Ron excitedly.

"You mean a flashlight?" Harry asked. "Ron, they're not that cool." Larry just stood there, staring at Ron.

"Yeah, but you weren't brought up by mag-OW!" Before Ron managed to finish, Harry had elbowed him in the stomach. They couldn't say stuff about magic in front of a Muggle! Harry was looking for something to say, but then a voice came from the tent behind Larry.

"Larry?" Nicky asked, "Is that a crowd of people with you?" Immediately, Nicky walked out. "Why, hello! Would you like to join forces with us to stop the evil Dirth Vader?"

"Nicky, this is the last time I am going to correct you! His name is Darth Vader!" Larry said, annoyed. There, they started talking.

"You guys, I think we should. The person who cast Avada Kedavra is with a man named Vader." Harry said quietly to Hermione and Ron.

"But what if it's not this Vader?" Hermione asked. Ron said nothing, as he was still holding his stomach from Harry's elbow blow.

"Hermione, how many people do you know named Vader?" Harry said.

"Well, there's Jeff Vader, long lost brother of Darth... oh," Hermione said. For once, she was outsmarted. Harry looked at her with an "I-told-you-so" type of look. "Well, that proves there's more than one Vader, but he lives in a galaxy far, far away. Wait a minute! Far Far Away, and he lives in a galaxy far, far away... So that means JEFF VADER is there! Not Darth!"

"Hermione, Far Far Away is a kingdom! A galaxy can't possibly fit in a kingdom." Ron said, speaking for the first time.

"I suppose you're right." she said.

Meanwhile, back in New York, Luke Skywalker and Chewbacca were...