Another epic pop culture story!

[Disneyland_DHI]

Welcome, all! I am pleased, proud, glad, and every good adjective to present you with:

ANOTHER EPIC POP CULTURE STORY!!!

Previously on the last Epic Pop Culture Story...

"So, you got any sevens?" Bart asked Chuck, the shape-shifter fairy from Bikini Bottom. D was in the back of the speeder, filing her nails, while her assistant was holding up a copy of a teen magazine with Robert Patinson on the cover and feeding her a chocolate-covered biscotti.

"No: Go fish." Chuck responded. DHI was next to him, typing away on his laptop.

It wasn't until Captain Kirk noticed DHI typing up "Another Epic Pop Culture Story!" did he say something. "Please, no more! We just found the Coke formula, now what?"

DHI responded, "The relic of- Greetings, readers! I suspect you want a play-by-play of what happened?"

Suddenly, a flash of white came from no where.

"My name is Captain James T. Kirk," Kirk told little Fred in Idaho, just after Judy had left. "How would you like to join me on a quest to stop the evil Darth Vader?"

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" Shouted the cloaked figure first seen in Far Far Away with its original name. A giant foot belonging to Gumby came from the sky and crushed Fred. A scream came from Mushnik's. Kirk and Luke were seen in the trunk of a New York taxi cab driving Kirk around. It stopped at the Around the Clock Cafe where Nicky and Rod were bickering like a married couple.

"Wait a minute, that's not how it happened!" Rod said, pausing the flashback film. "Kirk met Casablanca, then he walked to the cafe, where he met us!"

DHI said, "Just forget it!" With that, the film restarted. Nicky and Rod looked straightforward, smiling, each with clips of each character fading through the corners. Suddenly, clips of the Searchers accomplishing tasks also faded through until they got the Coke madness game. The strategy guide fell from the sky and into Larry's hands. DHI, D, and a little blue dog jumped into the Star Speeder. Now, they had dug up the Mirror of Erised, and they were at the North Pole, speaking to Santa. Each Searcher awoke in unison, with a bottle dropping on Ron's head saying Part 2 of Epic would begin with a musical number almost ensuing.

"Oooohhh.... we're off to--" DHI sang until Kirk looked at him, raising his brow.
"See the lizard, the wonderful lizard of Oz!" DHI continued. Suddenly, all the trees, flowers, and even the sun had come to life and started singing!

[Striker81]

Meanwhile, in Oz, a strange group of people were huddled around a woman, who had in front of her a crystal ball. The ball showed the images of the Searchers, traveling toward Oz, in their speeder.
The woman smiled.
"Excellent," she said. "They're coming this way."
"My queen?" one of her henchmen said. "Who is coming, exactly?"
"The Searchers, you dolt," she said, obviously agitated. "They thwarted us when they found the Coke formula before we did, but it was only one piece of the puzzle. The key to the next piece lies here, in Oz.
"And when they arrive, I will have my revenge!"
The queen laughed, while her subjects nervously joined in.

[monkey4057]

All the trees and flowers and the sun, meanwhile, were singing "It's Raining Sunshine" from Rudolph's Shiny New Year while some of the group danced along. The rest were all covering their ears and moaning in pain.

"Please, please, no more!" Arthur pleaded.

The trees, flowers, and sun apologized and went back into their regular state.

"That was weird," Timmy said.

[Disneyland_DHI]

"Well," DHI stated, "we could all be at home right now, sleeping the day away, but no. We were summoned here once again because MEW, his queen, and their henchman can still prevail."

"If we all had that same dream that wasn't a dream about finding the stone," Hermione started, "then, what's happened to all the villains?" Everyone thought about this for a moment.

DHI thought more about the story's events. So he said, "Did Far Far Away get its name back?"

Nicky was quick on his feet to turn on DHI's laptop, which had since become the group laptop ever since they tried to find an FAQ for Coca-Cola Madness.

"Well, according to this news article, they're cleaning it up but the name is being changed again because they want to honor us!" Nicky said.

After that, everything seemed to calm down.

"Are we there yet?" Bart asked.
In unison, the group had said no.
Bart asked again three more times and was strangled by Homer.

"Oz is nowhere on these maps," Kirk said, looking at several different maps on the radar. "DHI, you should look up a route to Oz on that laptop."

Suddenly, a tornado was approaching, though it was farther away.

"ACTIVATE FORCEFIELD!" Gil yelled, knowing that forcefield would activate by the sound of one's voice, also thinking ahead of time. A small plastic toy soldier came flying at great force that it deactivated the forcefield. The tornado kept drawing nearer and nearer.

"EVERYBODY JUST STAY CALM!" Kirk yelled.

[Disneyland_DHI]

No one? Okay, then!

The Speeder was now caught in the midst of the tornado! Mushroom hotels kept flying around them, with other detritus and debris. Everything in the alphabet and anything that could hold the alphabet flew around them. Another power outage struck the Speeder as they flew past lightning storms and other things, until they landed in a land so dreary.

DHI took a look out the window to dull, gray landscaping. Several black buildings that resembled the Emerald City were charred in the distance, standing under gray clouds of thunder and rain.

"Guys," DHI started, "I don't think we're in Oz right now. Isn't it supposed to be bright and happy? It looks like Kansas! The golden bricks are turning dull yellow! Follow the road now!"

He and the other searchers ran instead of skipped. Everyone's energy seemed to deplete, so they stopped somewhere in Oz.

"What are you doing here?" asked a mysterious voice.
"We need the Wizard!" Ron said.
"The wizard is gone..." the voice said, stepping out of the shadows, revealing a munchkin. "All you have is us..." White foam dripped at the corners of his lips as he stalked closer to the group. Several other twitching munchkins followed, all of them sporting demon eyes. "If you're here for the relic, it's not here."

"ACCIO FIREBOLT!" Harry yelled. His lucky broom suddenly appeared from nowhere, pulling a flying sled big enough to fit the Muggles of the group.
"It's the end of Oz as we know it," DHI sang.
"SHUT UP!" Everyone chimed.
"Obviously, someone doesn't want us here." Kirk deduced as they flew towards the Wizard palace.

As they entered, the palace didn't seem as wonderful as it has been depicted. There was no sign of the wizard.

"Hello?" Kirk asked. "We have an appointment scheduled by a monkey4507!"
"Please pay attention to the man before the curtain!" echoed a normal voice that didn't boom at all. "Yes, you are the searchers?" Everybody nodded. "Going against MEW and his queen?" They nodded again. "They have destroyed the goodness of Oz. I am powerless against them."
"No problem," DHI said, pulling out a magic wand that was proof of membership to a secret orginization that made the world a better place. He waved it around, and colors shot out of it. Pilot arrived on the scene, singing their hit song, Magic, as Harry, Ron, and Hermione pulled out their wands, while the others sang, restoring all the color to Oz and nice hospitality in Munchkins.

[Striker81]

As the color and general happiness returned to Oz, the voice breathed an audible sigh of relief.
"Very good, very good," it said. "However, such power will not be enough to defeat the dark queen and her subjects."
"What do you mean?" Hermione asked.
"What? Do I need to spell it out for you?" the voice asked incredulously. "I mean you're all not strong enough. To put it bluntly, you're all too weak."
"Now look here," Harry stated, as he and his two friends stepped forward, "we are all accomplished wizards."
"And I'm a starship captain," Kirk said.
"And I've defended museums against some of history's greatest villains come to life," Larry stated.
"And I've got a computer," DHI proudly said.
"Enough!" the voice yelled, but still not booming enough to be intimidating. "I did not mean to make light of your talents. However, the power the dark queen holds is tremendous compared to yours."
"So what do we do?" Nicky asked.
"Do not fear," the voice said. "I anticipated such a move by the dark queen, and I'll give you help."
"How's a disembodied voice going to help us?" Lisa asked.
"Not me!" the voice, getting more and more frustrated. "I mean I'll send someone with you that can help you out a little bit.
"Come forth, warrior."
From out of the curtain appeared a familiar face. He looked at the group.
"Who are you?" DHI asked. Apparently he was not all that familiar.
The apparently-mysterious stranger coughed. "Don't any of you remember me?"
Everyone shook their heads. The figure pulled back his trenchcoat to reveal a katana.
"How about now?" he asked. Everyone still shook their heads.
The figure sighed. "It's me, Striker." Everyone looked at him with blank faces. "I was at the Pantages Theater." Nothing. "I was there to fight MEW." Still nothing. "I summoned a whole bunch of heroes?"
Crickets chirped.
"Well, newcomer," Kirk said, "you're the help the voice talked about?"
"I'm no newcomer!" Striker stated. "And yes, I am to come along with you all."
"So what can you do?" Harry asked.
"You know what? Forget about it," Striker said. "Let's just leave now before I realize how bad of an idea this is."
Striker joined up with the Searchers and they all headed for the speeder. Meanwhile..............

[monkey4057]

Refurbishment of The Town Formerly Known as Far Far Away was progressing rather well. One of the workers was hungry and took his break to go into a cheese shop. To his dismay, the shop apparently did not have any cheese at all (not even Venezuelan Beaver Cheese). He shot the owner through the head and, upon doing this, noticed a hidden trapdoor labeled CHEESE. He entered.

After nearly an hour of going through the passage, he came out another trapdoor into someone's house. A man was sitting at a table with his dog.

"See, Gromit," the man said, "I told you that Wensleydale bloke would need that passage."

[Disneyland_DHI]

Originally Posted by Striker81

As the color and general happiness returned to Oz, the voice breathed an audible sigh of relief.
"Very good, very good," it said. "However, such power will not be enough to defeat the dark queen and her subjects."
"What do you mean?" Hermione asked.
"What? Do I need to spell it out for you?" the voice asked incredulously. "I mean you're all not strong enough. To put it bluntly, you're all too weak."
"Now look here," Harry stated, as he and his two friends stepped forward, "we are all accomplished wizards."
"And I'm a starship captain," Kirk said.
"And I've defended museums against some of history's greatest villains come to life," Larry stated.
"And I've got a computer," DHI proudly said.
"Enough!" the voice yelled, but still not booming enough to be intimidating. "I did not mean to make light of your talents. However, the power the dark queen holds is tremendous compared to yours."
"So what do we do?" Nicky asked.
"Do not fear," the voice said. "I anticipated such a move by the dark queen, and I'll give you help."
"How's a disembodied voice going to help us?" Lisa asked.
"Not me!" the voice, getting more and more frustrated. "I mean I'll send someone with you that can help you out a little bit.
"Come forth, warrior."
From out of the curtain appeared a familiar face. He looked at the group.
"Who are you?" DHI asked. Apparently he was not all that familiar.
The apparently-mysterious stranger coughed. "Don't any of you remember me?"
Everyone shook their heads. The figure pulled back his trenchcoat to reveal a katana.
"How about now?" he asked. Everyone still shook their heads.
The figure sighed. "It's me, Striker." Everyone looked at him with blank faces. "I was at the Pantages Theater." Nothing. "I was there to fight MEW." Still nothing. "I summoned a whole bunch of heroes?"
Crickets chirped.
"Well, newcomer," Kirk said, "you're the help the voice talked about?"
"I'm no newcomer!" Striker stated. "And yes, I am to come along with you all."
"So what can you do?" Harry asked.
"You know what? Forget about it," Striker said. "Let's just leave now before I realize how bad of an idea this is."
Striker joined up with the Searchers and they all headed for the speeder. Meanwhile..............

I love that line in lime green! Anyways....

The man was dumbfounded.

"Where is the cheese?"

The dog's owner, Wallace, answered, "Well, the cheese was taken away when those villainy fellows took over." The refurbishment worker swore under his breath.

"Hey, what'd you say your name was?" Wallace asked.
The worker replied, "I didn't say my name. But it's Jeff. Jeff Vader."

Back at the Star Speeder, DHI had been wondering about the wizard.

"What happened to the wizard, Mr. Striker?" DHI asked.
"Well, no one knows." Striker said, looking straight out the cockpit window. "He told me to watch Oz for him, but didn't tell me why. After I saw MEW and his queen's crew riding broomsticks, I knew darkness would follow."

Suddenly, the little monitor to the side of the cockpit came on and said, "HOOK UP LAPTOP TO SCREEN."

DHI hooked it up, and the screen now read, "SKYPE REQUEST: MONKEY4057. ACCEPT OR DENY?"

DHI clicked "Accept", partially hoping to see monkey's face.

"Hello, Searchers," a voice rang, almost similar to the one at Santa Rosita Park, but lower.

"Monkey?" Lisa asked. But strangely, instead of looking at a person (or monkey), Lisa was looking at a virtual reflection of everyone huddled around DHI.

"Why are we looking at ourselves?" Seymour asked.

"My webcam is pointed towards my screen to help my identity remain secret." Monkey responded. "But, I guess after a whole story and seven posts, I shall let you see my face." Monkey adjusted the webcam to point towards his face, but it was too dark in the room to even see anything above the neck.

[monkey4057]

monkey pointed the webcam back.

"There," he said, "that's overwith. Now may I ask why you haven't left Emerald City yet?"

"Well, the Wizard isn't here," Eric (the gorilla in the second challenge if you don't remember) explained.

"I didn't mean that Wizard," monkey told them.

"Then who are you talking about?" Rod asked.

"When you got here, didn't you notice the Quilting Wizard store?" monkey asked.

Awkward silence.

[Disneyland_DHI]

DHI slowly disconnected his laptop, approached the door, opened it, and ran outside. Bart followed suit, then B (As a small refresher, she lied about 'D' being her name), then Ron, then Hermione, and it soon became a chain-reaction amongst them all.

well, I can't make this one long

[Striker81]

"Does that mean I can go?" Striker asked as he got off the speeder and followed everyone into the store. Everyone looked at him.
"No way, pal," Kirk said. "You offered to join. Now you're in it for the long haul."
"Besides," Larry added, "just because we went to see the wrong wizard doesn't mean you're suddenly useless. After all, we're here to keep MEW and his queen from succeeding, and it sounds like you have the same goal."
"Speaking of which," DHI said, "why do you want to stop them?"
"Well," Striker started, "after that debacle at the Pantages Theater, MEW and myself went to play some Street Fighter IV. We were having a good time, well, I was, considering I had won 12 straight matches.
"Anyway, we were playing when MEW's queen showed up. She told MEW to go along, and he didn't because he was close to beating me. Angry, she threw the X-Box from the shelf, broke it, and took MEW with her."
"So you're trying to get your friend back?" Ron asked.
"No," Striker answered. "I want money for a new X-Box. I tried to get Microsoft to fix it for free, but they said I was past warranty."
The group looked at him.
"None of that's true, is it?" DHI asked.
Striker shook his head. "Nope, but I figured you all needed a back story. I'm just not ready to tell you the real reasons yet."
"Well," Harry started, "now that that's settled, why don't we see the real wizard? And that includes you, Mr. Striker."
"First off, it's just Striker," he said. "Adding the 'Mr.' makes me sound like an old man."
The Searchers headed for the Quilting Wizard store, but awaiting them there was..............

[monkey4057]

...the Wicked Witch of the West. But she didn't notice them; she was so bored of waiting for them that she was playing Guitar Hero instead.

Taking this advantage, the Searchers sneaked past her into the back room.

"Okay," Howard said after they closed the door, "That was easier than I thought."

[Disneyland_DHI]

The backroom contained boxes and all sorts of things from boxes to ladders and cages.

"UP HERE!" The store owner and quilting wizard said, catching everyone's attention. He was up in the rafters.

"How--" DHI began to ask.

"Well," He said, "when MEW and his queen arrived on broomstick, all store owners were caught and replaced with villains while the real owners would be stuck somewhere. And monkey tells me some of you are wizards yourselves? Would you mind getting me down?"

All searchers with wands got the quilting wizard down and unlocked the cage, but they decided they should keep it.

When they came out, the witch was now playing Dance Dance Revolution, so she was easy to slip by. When out of the store, Sam, the quilting wizard, pulled out a whistle and more store owners rushed to the scene.

"Introduce yourselves."

Meanwhile, a short puff ball with hair taller than Lebron James was discussing matters with MEW and his evil queen in their new lair.

[Striker81]

"Excellent," the queen stated. "With Oz under our control, our plan is underway."
"Indeed," the puff ball said. "By your command, all store owners have been captured and replaced with villains, turning Oz into a most-wretched hive of scum and villainy."
"Excuse me, your highness," one of the queen's subject nervously said, "why are we doing this?"
"It's quite simple really," she said. "What does every adventurer need for a journey? Resources, of course. There will come a time when the Searchers need food, water or some other provisions. And that is how we will entrap them."
"Still," MEW interrupted, "something troubles me."
"You mean the appearance of Striker?" she said. MEW nodded. "Pay it no mind. You are still stronger than him, and you'll show that should you two face off in earnest."
MEW remained silent, pondering when he would face this foe.
"Then again," the queen continued, "once he is captured with the rest of those Searchers, it will be a moot point." The queen then laughed.
Her laughing, however, was interrupted by one of her lackeys, flinging open the door and rushing into the room.
"Expendable pawn #528 reporting, your highness."
"Ah yes. Tell me. What have you to report?"
"The Searchers were spotted entering the Quilting Wizard about half-an-hour ago."
"The fools," the queen chuckled. "They walked right into a trap. The Wicked Witch of the West has no doubt already subjugated them."
"Actually, your highness, she has failed."
The queen's face turned from one of delight to pure anger. "What!?"
"I don't know how, but they eluded her. They rescued the store owner and are now corroborating with other owners in Oz."
The queen stomped her foot, its thunderous thud reverberating throughout the room.
"MEW! Dispose of this worthless pawn!"
"As you wish, my queen," MEW simply stated. Using telekinesis, he picked up the pawn and hurled him out the window.
"What did I do?" he yelled as fell to the ground below.
"Pawns!" the queen yelled. The others not punished stood in attention. "Go to the Quilting Wizard now and exterminate those Searchers. The one who succeeds gets dinner. Go!"
With that, the pawns disappeared, leaving MEW, his queen and the puff ball to discuss further plans.
Meanwhile, back at the Quilting Wizard..................

[monkey4057]

...the Witch was now playing Wii Sports. The Searchers and store owners had already left the Emerald City and were in the safety of Munchkinland.

The pawns, having not received any education and never having seen (or read) The Wizard of Oz mistook the Witch for a Searcher and took her back to the lair.

They too were hurled out the window.

"Remaining pawns!" the queen called, only to find that no more pawns were around.

"Get more pawns!" she barked at MEW.

The real Searchers, meanwhile, had asked Sam the Quilting Wizard where the Relic may have gone.

"Yes, about that...it's in the Black Hole of CD-i."

"What?!" Arthur exclaimed, "But we destroyed it long ago!"

"Just kidding!" Sam chuckled, "However, it may have gone to a video game world; Isle Delfino to be precise."

"Oh, yes, I've heard of that," Mr. Burns said, "it's where that delightful Super Mario Sunshine game takes place."

Everyone stared.

"How do you know that?" Princeton asked.

Mr. Burns responded, "My lad, I'm much older that I look."

"So you were about ninety when the Big Bang happened?" Bart said only to be strangled once again by Homer.

"You know, that could be a good name for a sitcom," Sheldon said.
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Wallace, Gromit, and Jeff Vader...