Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf? and DLP's Western River Cruise

[MANEATINGWREATH]

Here are two attraction ideas I have, one for Disneyland Resort and one for Disneyland Resort Paris. The first one is called "Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?" an Alien Encounter style attraction to replace the Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh in Critter Country, which would be moved to the empty Phantom Boats load area in Fantasyland. The second is Western River Cruise, a Jungle Cruise style attraction to be built in place of the Chapparal Theater and the surrounding wilderness along and aside the Rivers of the Far West and Disneyland Railroad tracks. It will feature a skipper and an authentic North American forest. To keep the water from freezing in the winter and colder seasons, the water is heated by powerful unseen jets. This attraction is an advanced boat cruise of Mine Train thru Nature's Wonderland. Here is a script for Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?, now please people give me feedback I want to here from you all.


Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

This is an idea I have for an ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter style attraction to be built at
Disneyland California. It will replace the Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, which will be moved
to the old Phantom Boat loading area across from small world. The rest of Critter Country will get
a makeover to get a more backwoods swamp feel with new shops and entertainment. Here is a little
history on the attraction, at first I was going to put Stitch's Great Escape in Tomorrowland, but
I didn't like that idea, so then I came up with a seasonal Oogie Boogie Encounter for New Orleans
Square but I had nowhere to put it, and then I saw the old "Three Little Pigs" cartoon which I thought
would make a great ride so I designed the attraction that you are about to read about.

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?- Our story begins in the lazy backwoods and swamps of Critter
Country where we find ourselves in a refuge to those of paws and claws, fur and feather. One quick
turn can lead to the perilous plunge of Splash Mountain, where Brer Rabbit outsmarts his enemies,
while another turn can lead down the Rivers of America aboard the Beaver Bros. Explorer Canoes. But
one turn leads to a small red and white striped tent nestled in between some pine and maple trees.
Colorful balloons and banners circle the tent, informing us of the Critter Country Fair, a family
fair complete with pie eating contests, a potato sack race, and a ferris wheel. But we are also
informed that the Big Bad Wolf has been spotted in this neck of the woods, and he just loves to eat
little critters. We walk inside the tent where we see posters for the fair's attractions, the most
notable attraction being:

"The Three Little Pigs Present
Cannonball Pork!
Amazing, Spectacular, Daring!
Only at the Critter Country Fair"

We see a picture of the three little pigs inside a cannon in the center of the poster. Once the tent
is filled with happy visitors, a cow in a red and white vest with a straw hat appears on a very small
circular stage. The cow looks around blinking a few times and then begins to speak:

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, birds and critters. Step right up and see the Critter Country
Fair! Games of chance, pie eating contests, potato sack races, and rides! Would you like to try sir?
How about you madame? Any of you little kids want to give the fair a shot? Ah forget it, no one is
going to come to this fair. Ever since the Big Bad Wolf showed up, all the critters have been too
scared to come out, even for some good old fashioned family fun. Oh well. But hey, since you guys
are the only visitors to the fair so far, how would you like to get a v.i.p. tour of the fair? Does
that sound alright? Ok good, good, good. Hey three pigs!

Voice of pig: Ya?

Cow: Are you guys ready for your act? We got a v.i.p. tour coming in!

Voice of pig: No, Practical Pig isn't here yet, we don't know where he is!

Cow: Well you're going to have to do it without him, this tour group is ready for your act!

Voice of pig: How do I even know we have visitors in there? I don't hear anything!

Cow: Ok guys make some noise so the pigs can here you. (He gestures to us for us to make some noise,
the audience cheers and claps)

Pig: Wow I do hear them, hey everybody! We'll be ready for you guys in about five to ten minutes.

Cow: Well you heard the swine folks, they'll be ready for you in a few minutes, but for now enjoy
the rest of the fair!"

Some doors open and we flood out into a small "outdoor" (indoor) portion of the fair where we can
pay a small fee to play ski ball, wack a mole, or ride a small merry go round. Or for the rest of us
who are out of money, we can just sit and relax while waiting for the show to begin. Finally after a
few minutes, several doors open on a nearby tent with carnival music emerging from them. Once inside
the tent we all sit down around a large circular stage in the center of the tent. Other sights in the
tent include a small orchestra pit full of various critters (deer, moose, geese, bears, rabbits)
surrounding the main stage. A cast member then instructs us to remain seated at all times during
the performance and that if we must leave we can exit through the exit door to the left hand side of
the tent. The orchestra is heard warming up as the various animatronic animals rise slightly over
the orchestra pit. The unseen conductor taps his stick against a music stand and the two pigs present
are heard arguing somewhere in the room.

Fiddler Pig: We got to start the show now, the orchestra is tuning up!

Fifer Pig: But Practical isn't here yet!

Fiddler: I don't care we actually have an audience for once, now let's get the show rolling! Hey
fireflies, get some light on the stage!

Fifer: Drum roll please! (A drummer begins a dramatic drum roll as spotlights fly around the tent)

Fiddler: Now put your hands, hooves, paws, wings, claws, and fins together for the two little pigs!
(Fifer and Fiddler Pig are lowered from the ceiling and on to the main stage)

Fifer: Thank you, thank you, thank you, you are all too kind.

Fiddler: Well today ladies and gentlemen we have a special presentation for you all, we pigs like to
call it, Cannonball Pork! One of us pigs will hop into a large cannon and get launched millions of
feet into the air safely landing in this orchestra pit!

Orchestra: (Various angry animal noises)

Fifer: Oh come on guys we have an audience at least! Anyhow, please welcome the Bacon Cannon, and
our lovely assistant Hilda! (A large cannon and a horribly ugly wolfish lady appear in the middle of
the stage, along with the two pigs)

Hilda: (In a very phony female Swedish accent) Oh thank you, tee hee. I am so pleased to be here
today! Tee hee.

Fiddler: Now my brother Fifer will hop in the cannon and get shot millions of feet into the sky!

Fifer: Now wait a second, how come I have to go in the cannon wasn't it your turn?

Fiddler: No, no, no, it was your turn you said so!

Fifer: I never said that you liar!

Fiddler: You never call me a liar little pig!

Hilda: (They continue arguing) Boys...boys...boys...BOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Both pigs: Hilda?!?

Hilda: Why don't I just launch this cannonball for a demonstration, then one of you can go in? (She
takes a lit bomb with a skull on it, out from behind her back)

Fifer: That's a great idea Hilda! Load her up! (Hilda "loads" the bomb into the cannon)

Fiddler: Ladies and gentlemen, please put the safety shoulder straps on now, in case this gets ugly!
(We put on the shoulder straps and there is a pause for us to do so, a cast member asks us if we
have them on and double checks and helps us if we need it)

Hilda: Ok! 3, 2, 1, blast off! (The cannon shoots the bomb and the lights go out with red and orange
flashes)

Fiddler: Sorry folks! Is everyone ok down there?

Hilda: Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!

Fifer: Who's laughing?

Hilda: (In Big Bad Wolf voice) It's me, Hilda, or should I say, THE BIG BAD WOLF!

Pigs: The Big Bad Wolf!

Wolf: Yes that's right the big bad wolf! And my evil plot is a success, not only do you have no way
of escape, but you have no vision, and I have a meal of two little pigs, an orchestra of critters,
and an audience of humans!

Fiddler: Don't you dare hurt them!

Wolf: Just try and stop me! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Fifer: Everyone remain calm, the wolf is on the loose! (The wolf is heard laughing and is felt
jumping on our shoulders and breathing on us)

Fiddler: Oh dear, our one chance at the big time and the Big Bad Wolf ruins it!

Wolf: There is nothing you can do to stop me! How about some fun with a watering can? An exploding
watering can!

Fifer: Oh boy, everyone duck! (There is an explosion of orange smoke from the stage and we are all
drenched with a blast of cold water)

Fiddler: Sorry folks! We had no idea this would happen!

Wolf: Oh look, someone has carelessly misplaced this bucket of posionous insects, I better put them
somewhere outside! Or inside! (A metal bucket is heard falling offstage and the sounds of various
insects are heard scattering around the room, they are felt crawling underneath our bottoms quickly)

Fifer: Ew gross I hate bugs!

Wolf: How about some good old howling to the moon, wolves love howling to the moon? Next to easily
breakable glass!

Fiddler: Duck and cover people! (The wolf howls loudly and glass is heard breaking and is felt
hitting us in the shoulders)

Fifer: If only Practical was here, he'd know what to do!

Wolf: Well too bad he's never going to show up!

Practical: But I am! (Practical is seen next to a smaller cannon in an alcove high above us)

Wolf: (Light shows the Bacon Cannon which the wolf is sitting on) Oh no, not you again! Oh well I'll
just eat you too!

Practical: You're not eating anyone! Cover your ears folks! (He blasts his cannon at the wolf, we
feel hot air blasts)

Wolf: Oh ya? (He blasts back and the two critters battle it out for almost a half a minute)

Practical: Get out of here wolf for good! (He shoots one last cannonball at the wolf, knocking the
wolf out of the tent, even though the wolf isn't seen getting shot off)

Wolf: Arrooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! (The lights come back)

Practical: Sorry about that folks, just a few technical difficulties here and there, but pretty soon
our show will be running a-ok!

Fifer: Well everyone you can let go of the safety shoulder straps now and head for the exits which
are on the left hand side.

Fiddler: And be sure to come to the Critter Country Fair.

Practical: Real soon!


Critter Country Attractions-
Splash Mountain
Beaver Bros. Explorer Canoes
Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?
Critter Country Jug Band (A mobile audio animatronic animal jug band featuring a porcupine, a bald
eagle, an elk, and an alligator, singing old country and western songs, very Marc Davis-like animal
characters, more on subject later)

Restaurants-
Gator Galley (The Harbor Galley with the new mascot being the fishing alligator from Splash Mountain)
Hungry Bear Restaurant

Carts-
Critter Country Fruit Cart
Curious Cat's Curiousity Cart

Shopping-
Victor Vulture's Gift and Carrion Shop (An audio animatronic vulture sits outside looking at guests)
Briar Patch
Professor Barnaby Owl's Photographic Art Studio

Additional- New pine, oak, elm, willow, and redwood trees will be planted in the land to make it seem
more dense and relaxed. The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, Pooh Meet and Greet, and Pooh Corner,
will move to the Phantom Boats loading area in Fantasyland which is far more appropriate then it's
current location, I'm sorry I just hate walking through America's backwoods when all of a sudden you
see tigers, elephants, and kangaroos living in harmony with bears, pigs, gophers, weasels, donkeys,
and owls.

Sorry about the font and paragraph form of the script, I copied and pasted it out of something I already typed on notepad.

[MANEATINGWREATH]

Forget this thread I am working on a different attraction.