What Disney characters will never say

Big Disney Fan · 07-07-2009, 05:24 PM

Here's the last of the above script. Once again, it will actually overlap part of the end of the last piece to continue on:

POCAHONTAS: I recognize that sound now! It is a cricket, a creature of the forest. How delightful to fall asleep to the sweet sounds of...

ESMERALDA: Delightful?! That thing's more annoying than those dopey bells!

MEG: Speaking of annoying, Miss Ding Dong, those stupid coins you've got hanging off your clothes are pretty irritating. Jingle, jangle, jingle, whenever you shake your little gypsy behind. Do the words "paper money" ring a bell?

ESMERALDA: Well, I guess it's easy to talk when you're working for the head of the Underworld mob, and you've got a rich, athletic half-god for a boyfriend. I've had to scrimp and save for every coin I've got.

CINDERELLA: If you want to talk about hard work, I used to... Look! There goes the cricket!

MULAN: Come back, Cri-Kee!

POCAHONTAS: I'll save him!

ESMERALDA: Eat him, Djali!

MEG: No, I'll squish him. Gimme your other shoe, Slipper Girl!

CINDERELLA: I most certainly will not...

(Harsh knocking on the door is heard.)

ESMERALDA: (alarmed whisper) Who's that? You tricked me, Cindy. I thought this place was a sanctuary.

CINDERELLA: Shhhh... I'll go see.

(Cinderella answers the door and then returns moments later, looking pale and frightened.)

CINDERELLA: Ladies, I'm afraid we have bigger problems than that cricket. There's a couple of lionesses at the door. They claim they're supposed to be part of the Round Table. They mentioned something about a king, and their pride.

MULAN: Lions?! Don't you dare let them in! I've seen this act before. It's those stupid Huns in disguise.

MEG: Yeah, this trick is as old as the hills. I've seen it pulled off with a horse.

ESMERALDA: They're gonna burn down the castle! Trust me on this one.

CINDERELLA: Oh dear, it's five to twelve. In a few minutes, I won't look presentable at all. I can't have guests at a time like this.

POCAHONTAS: What is... "lion"?

(Dramatic pause. Then Meg coughs)

MEG: Well, actually, Nature Girl, a lion is a creature of this earth. Yes, it's a beautiful and friendly animal... (softly) Help me here, girls.

ESMERALDA: Yes, it's not native to Virginia, so you've probably never seen one.

MULAN: But you're just the gal to reason with them. Why don't you go out there and do your diplomacy thing you do, and find out what they want?

CINDERELLA: Um, that's right, we'll wait right here while you discuss the situation with them, and then you come back and give us a full report.

POCAHONTAS: Yes. I will speak with all the voices of the mountains, and they will understand. Come along, Meeko.

CINDERELLA: That's right, dear. Run along now.

(Pocahontas leaves with Meeko in tow)

ESMERALDA: Everybody, quick, out the stained glass window! I hope you girls can swim. Let's go, Djali.

(Esmeralda and Djali leave, followed by a splashing sound moments later)

CINDERELLA: Hey, wait! How are we going to explain this to Mr. Eisner?

MULAN: What's to explain? They're predators and Pocahontas was wearing nothing but deerskin. It was an accident waiting to happen. Besides, she's had her direct-to-video sequel already. The rest of us haven't.

CINDERELLA: (GASP!) But... this... this... this... drop!!

MULAN: Yeah, yeah, great wall. Now jump.

CINDERELLA: But the water in the moat will simply ruin this lovely ballgown and...

CLOCK: Bonggggg... bonggggg... bonggggg... bonggggg... bonggggg... bonggggg... bonggggg... bongggg... bonggggg... bonggggg... bonggggg... bonggggg!

CINDERELLA: Oh dear... Never mind. (splash!)

MULAN: Your turn, Moussaka Mouth. Jump!

MEG: Er, I have this little fear of heights. Nothing serious, you understand, but -- hey, what's that?! There's something in my dress! Holy Hera, it's crawling all over me! Aaaaaaaagh! (splash!)

(Chirrup!... Chirrup!... Glug glug... Chirrup!... glug glug)

MULAN: (sigh) Women! (splash!)

THE END

Disneyland_DHI · 07-07-2009, 05:56 PM

^first, they murdered Atta, now they won't let Nala in. how sad

Big Disney Fan · 08-04-2009, 05:25 PM

Walt Disney Pictures presents:

"PETER PAN 3"

CAPTAIN HOOK: Peter Pan, I am your father.

The End

Wisher · 08-04-2009, 05:49 PM

^ Peter: NOOOOOO! It can't be true! It's impossible!!!

Big Disney Fan · 08-04-2009, 07:36 PM

(Jiminy Cricket has just watched all the pop music video versions of "When You Wish Upon a Star" back to back)

JIMINY CRICKET: (angrily) How dare they run my movie's principal song into the ground like that!

alyx92 · 08-04-2009, 09:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wisher

^ Peter: NOOOOOO! It can't be true! It's impossible!!!

Then peter falls into the abyss and thru some cool slides and lands on an antenna....he hangs there for a while.......but then he reailzes,
"Hey! I can fly!"

Big Disney Fan · 08-05-2009, 12:59 PM

Dedication of Disneyland:

Quote:

To all that come to this happy place, welcome. Disneyland is your land. Here age relives fond memories of the past, and here youth may savor the challenge and promise of the future. Disneyland is dedicated to the ideals, the dreams, and the hard facts that have created America, with the hope that you will consider every penny spent here an investment in joy for the world.

alyx92 · 08-05-2009, 02:33 PM

^so true

monkey4057 · 08-05-2009, 02:49 PM

Ariel: DADDY I LOVE HIM!
[long silence]
Triton: Good for you, my dear!

DisneyParksFan112 · 08-05-2009, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Disney Fan

Dedication of Disneyland:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH AHAHAHAA!!!!!!!!!!

...calms down...

Wisher · 08-05-2009, 06:51 PM

Maybe I'm weird, but I don't understand why this "dedication of Disneyland" thing is funny.

Big Disney Fan · 08-05-2009, 09:37 PM

Other Disneyland's lands' dedications:

Main Street USA:

Quote:

Main Street, U.S.A. is America at the turn of the century, the crossroads of an era. The gas lamps and the electric lamp, the horse-drawn car and auto car, the family owned store and global chain. Main Street is everyone's home town, the heart line of American business.

Fantasyland:

Quote:

Here is the world of imagination, hopes and dreams. In this timeless land of enchantment, the age of chivalry, magic, and make-believe are reborn and fairy tales as rewritten by talented writers come true. Fantasyland is dedicated to the young-at-heart, to those who believe that when you wish upon a star, your dreams come true.

Adventureland:

Quote:

Here is adventure. Here is romance. Here is mystery. Tropical rivers, silently flowing into the unknown. The unbelievable splendor of exotic flowers, the eerie sound of the jungle, the possibility of being eaten alive. This is Adventureland.

Frontierland:

Quote:

Here we experience the story of our country's past, the colorful drama of Frontier America in the exciting days of the covered wagon and the stagecoach, the advent of the railroad, and the romantic riverboat. Frontierland is a tribute to the faith, courage, and ingenuity of the pioneers who blazed trails through the Indian nations and across America.

Tomorrowland:

Quote:

A vista into a world of wondrous ideas, signifying man's achievements, a step into the future, with predictions of constructive things to come. Tomorrow offers new frontiers in science, adventure, and ideals: the atomic age, the challenge of outer space, and the hope for a peaceful and unified world through miniaturized electronics, a mechanized military, and genetic engineering.

Ezra · 08-05-2009, 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Disney Fan

in the hope that you will consider every penny spent here an investment in joy for the world.

It is, it absolutely is.

Invest in joy! Support Disneyland!

DisneyParksFan112 · 08-15-2009, 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wisher

Maybe I'm weird, but I don't understand why this "dedication of Disneyland" thing is funny.

Lol. For some reason the quote didn't come up correctly. It said the following...

To all that come to this happy place, welcome. Disneyland is your land. Here age relives fond memories of the past, and here youth may savor the challenge and promise of the future. Disneyland is dedicated to the ideals, the dreams, and the hard facts that have created America, with the hope that you will consider every penny spent here an investment in joy for the world.

07-07-2009, 05:24 PM	#151 (permalink)
Big Disney Fan People who found this post helpful: Join Date: May 2007 Location: Bay Area, CA Posts: 1,920	Here's the last of the above script. Once again, it will actually overlap part of the end of the last piece to continue on: POCAHONTAS: I recognize that sound now! It is a cricket, a creature of the forest. How delightful to fall asleep to the sweet sounds of... ESMERALDA: Delightful?! That thing's more annoying than those dopey bells! MEG: Speaking of annoying, Miss Ding Dong, those stupid coins you've got hanging off your clothes are pretty irritating. Jingle, jangle, jingle, whenever you shake your little gypsy behind. Do the words "paper money" ring a bell? ESMERALDA: Well, I guess it's easy to talk when you're working for the head of the Underworld mob, and you've got a rich, athletic half-god for a boyfriend. I've had to scrimp and save for every coin I've got. CINDERELLA: If you want to talk about hard work, I used to... Look! There goes the cricket! MULAN: Come back, Cri-Kee! POCAHONTAS: I'll save him! ESMERALDA: Eat him, Djali! MEG: No, I'll squish him. Gimme your other shoe, Slipper Girl! CINDERELLA: I most certainly will not... (Harsh knocking on the door is heard.) ESMERALDA: (alarmed whisper) Who's that? You tricked me, Cindy. I thought this place was a sanctuary. CINDERELLA: Shhhh... I'll go see. (Cinderella answers the door and then returns moments later, looking pale and frightened.) CINDERELLA: Ladies, I'm afraid we have bigger problems than that cricket. There's a couple of lionesses at the door. They claim they're supposed to be part of the Round Table. They mentioned something about a king, and their pride. MULAN: Lions?! Don't you dare let them in! I've seen this act before. It's those stupid Huns in disguise. MEG: Yeah, this trick is as old as the hills. I've seen it pulled off with a horse. ESMERALDA: They're gonna burn down the castle! Trust me on this one. CINDERELLA: Oh dear, it's five to twelve. In a few minutes, I won't look presentable at all. I can't have guests at a time like this. POCAHONTAS: What is... "lion"? (Dramatic pause. Then Meg coughs) MEG: Well, actually, Nature Girl, a lion is a creature of this earth. Yes, it's a beautiful and friendly animal... (softly) Help me here, girls. ESMERALDA: Yes, it's not native to Virginia, so you've probably never seen one. MULAN: But you're just the gal to reason with them. Why don't you go out there and do your diplomacy thing you do, and find out what they want? CINDERELLA: Um, that's right, we'll wait right here while you discuss the situation with them, and then you come back and give us a full report. POCAHONTAS: Yes. I will speak with all the voices of the mountains, and they will understand. Come along, Meeko. CINDERELLA: That's right, dear. Run along now. (Pocahontas leaves with Meeko in tow) ESMERALDA: Everybody, quick, out the stained glass window! I hope you girls can swim. Let's go, Djali. (Esmeralda and Djali leave, followed by a splashing sound moments later) CINDERELLA: Hey, wait! How are we going to explain this to Mr. Eisner? MULAN: What's to explain? They're predators and Pocahontas was wearing nothing but deerskin. It was an accident waiting to happen. Besides, she's had her direct-to-video sequel already. The rest of us haven't. CINDERELLA: (GASP!) But... this... this... this... drop!! MULAN: Yeah, yeah, great wall. Now jump. CINDERELLA: But the water in the moat will simply ruin this lovely ballgown and... CLOCK: Bonggggg... bonggggg... bonggggg... bonggggg... bonggggg... bonggggg... bonggggg... bongggg... bonggggg... bonggggg... bonggggg... bonggggg! CINDERELLA: Oh dear... Never mind. (splash!) MULAN: Your turn, Moussaka Mouth. Jump! MEG: Er, I have this little fear of heights. Nothing serious, you understand, but -- hey, what's that?! There's something in my dress! Holy Hera, it's crawling all over me! Aaaaaaaagh! (splash!) (Chirrup!... Chirrup!... Glug glug... Chirrup!... glug glug) MULAN: (sigh) Women! (splash!) THE END __________________ "Walt Disney's . Each week, as you enter this timeless land, one of these many worlds will open to you: Frontierland, tall tales and true from the legendary past; Tomorrowland, promise of things to come; Adventureland, the wonder world of nature's own realm; Fantasyland, the happiest kingdom of them all." - Intro to the Disneyland TV show
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07-07-2009, 05:56 PM	#152 (permalink)
Disneyland_DHI VF's Local Space Ranger People who found this post helpful: Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: In the theater, waiting for TS3 Posts: 1,926	^first, they murdered Atta, now they won't let Nala in. how sad __________________ Toy Story: 2 Toy Story 2: 2 Total Disney/Pixar Movies as of May 2009: 10 My Countdown Counting down to: TOY STORY 3!!!! 208 days 6 hours 50 minutes
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08-04-2009, 05:25 PM	#153 (permalink)
Big Disney Fan People who found this post helpful: Join Date: May 2007 Location: Bay Area, CA Posts: 1,920	Walt Disney Pictures presents: "PETER PAN 3" CAPTAIN HOOK: Peter Pan, I am your father. The End __________________ "Walt Disney's . Each week, as you enter this timeless land, one of these many worlds will open to you: Frontierland, tall tales and true from the legendary past; Tomorrowland, promise of things to come; Adventureland, the wonder world of nature's own realm; Fantasyland, the happiest kingdom of them all." - Intro to the Disneyland TV show
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08-04-2009, 05:49 PM	#154 (permalink)
Wisher One who makes wishes People who found this post helpful: Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: somewhere Posts: 980	^ Peter: NOOOOOO! It can't be true! It's impossible!!! __________________ Fly with me And I will be your wings
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08-04-2009, 07:36 PM	#155 (permalink)
Big Disney Fan People who found this post helpful: Join Date: May 2007 Location: Bay Area, CA Posts: 1,920	(Jiminy Cricket has just watched all the pop music video versions of "When You Wish Upon a Star" back to back) JIMINY CRICKET: (angrily) How dare they run my movie's principal song into the ground like that! __________________ "Walt Disney's . Each week, as you enter this timeless land, one of these many worlds will open to you: Frontierland, tall tales and true from the legendary past; Tomorrowland, promise of things to come; Adventureland, the wonder world of nature's own realm; Fantasyland, the happiest kingdom of them all." - Intro to the Disneyland TV show
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08-05-2009, 02:33 PM	#158 (permalink)
alyx92 People who found this post helpful: Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Miami FL Posts: 1,708 Images: 2	^so true __________________ Disney Count: Magic Kingdom-25 times : Disney's Hollywood Studios- 23 times : Epcot- 24 times : Disney's Animal Kingdom- 14 times Blizzard Beach- 1 time : Typhoon Lagoon- 1 time California, Paris, & Tokyo- 0 times TIMES ON SPLASH MTN - 30 : TIMES ON ToT - 29 : TIMES PotC - 32 TIMES on Test Track - 15 "If you can dream it, you can do it. Always remember that this whole thing was started with a dream, and a mouse." - Walt Disney Follow me on Twitter Here My Countdown Counting down to: My first Walt Disney World Half-Marathon! 49 days 13 hours 50 minutes
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08-05-2009, 02:49 PM	#159 (permalink)
monkey4057 Live from Yu Nork! People who found this post helpful: Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Cosmic Ray's Starlight Lounge Posts: 1,134	Ariel: DADDY I LOVE HIM! [long silence] Triton: Good for you, my dear! __________________ I'm not the other anything. I'm me.
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08-05-2009, 06:51 PM	#161 (permalink)
Wisher One who makes wishes People who found this post helpful: Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: somewhere Posts: 980	Maybe I'm weird, but I don't understand why this "dedication of Disneyland" thing is funny. __________________ Fly with me And I will be your wings
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