Grow up it's Disneyland??? [Archive]

ion777_99

08-22-2006, 06:45 PM

Ok. It has been a few months since I have posted here. This really drove me crazy though and I need to not feel alone pls.

I have been dating this girl for awhile now. So the other day in discussing what I wanted to do after I get well from my surgeries (diagosed with a nasty illness but all is well through the blessings of Christ), I of course declared to everyone who was in the room that I wanted to go to DL since I hadn't been in awhile. Without missing a beat she lashes at me and says, "Oh you really need to grow up! Come on you're 32 and it's Disneyland for crying out loud. Don't you want to go to Vegas or Hawaii or somewhere better?" You can imagine my reply.

Somewhere better? BETTER?!?!?!? Not only did she make this about where SHE wanted to go, but she made me feel terrible in front of everyone there. I talked to her about how I felt and told her that I had loved DL all my life. She knew that about me already which is why I was upset. She just blew it off like she did nothing wrong and said again that I needed to grow up. Why did she even ask me when she knew I was going to say DL??? Man I am ready to drop her like a bad and nasty habit. :mad:

Anyone else ridiculed for your life long childhood love? Aren't there any single ladies out there that don't look down on guys because we love something like DL? I mean I know I'm in my thirties but I don't care. DL is still the greatest place to me!!!

Kileli

08-22-2006, 07:01 PM

alot of people i know say that DL is for babies, but look at this site. more registered members are adults (i think) yes, hawaii is fun, but DL is a place where, even if you are not a kid anymore, you can feellike a 10 year old while walking through the front gates. my guess is that she has not been to DL for a while, if ever. i dont think you need to grow up, but show her the happiest place on earth, and take her on the great rides, like space mountain, BTMRR, POTC, and some of the classics, like peter pan and snow white. my parents often went on dates to DL, so they never really disliked the park. convince her to go at least once, and show her the magic behind the it. (DL is also alot closer then hawaii from where you live)

crystaltink

08-22-2006, 07:05 PM

No, actually my fiancee hasn't been to Disneyland since he was 3. I got him to go back for his 25th birthday. He loves it! He knows I'm obsessed with it and he really doesn't mind it all that much. I know he's obsessed with golfing so that doesn't bother me either. We both enjoy what each other's obsessions. I just don't see how someone could be so selfish as to make the situation to be about her! It doesn't matter how old you are, this park is known as the only place in the world where it's okay to be a kid again! I walked around the park with gold mouse ears on last year and my better half actually laughed because it was amusing to him.

I'd bring this up to her and if she can't understand where you're coming from or even make the effort to, then I'd rethink things through. But that's just me...people love you for who you are, not for who they want you to be!

k_peek_2000

08-22-2006, 08:49 PM

at my school, either you love disneyland or you hate it. its sort of a thing about disneyland that comes with lovin it.

ShrunkenNed

08-22-2006, 11:17 PM

Perhaps you're tempted to say, "Grow up, it's not all about you???"

Disneyland has nothing to do with age. It's a mindset; either you like it or you don't. Obviously you do, she doesn't. But the bigger question is - you've been laid up and the first thing she does is insult you? Dude, you're not the one with the need to grow up. Besides, if growing up in your case involves not liking Disneyland? NEVER GROW UP!!!

kairamoon

08-22-2006, 11:26 PM

I don't want to grow up I want to be a Disneyland kid because there's so many rides that I can play with!

AtticBride

08-22-2006, 11:33 PM

The liking of Disneyland does not make you a child. Being truly grown up is the ability to accept your inner child while remaining responsible. The sooner she realizes that, the better off you'll be.

She is truly and utterly disrespectful to how you feel if she pulls a stunt like that when it is your choice because it is you who are suffering. If all else fails, just go without her. She'd probaby whine and moan the whole day anyway. ;)

PeoplemoverMatt

08-23-2006, 12:01 AM

I looked forward to seeing my then girlfriend again nearly the entire time I was laid up after surgery. But when the time came, she wouldn't give me the time of day. Later she said she didn't want to be spending her future time on fruitless matters (like going to Disneyland) & I did a lot of time wasting. :frown:

-- PMM :cool:

CA Screamin Dude

08-23-2006, 12:22 AM

Relationship is about compromise...

The very least anyone who joins this website needs to be looking for is someone who understands, respects, accepts, and maybe even shares your passion for Disneyland, DCA, what have you. Anything less is (bad).

The first thing I thought of when I read your description of her reaction was that she very well might be narcissistic and egocentric, which would be a "red flag" of sorts. Don't take it as the end-all fact, keep it in mind, but the next chance you get, bring up the "Grow up it's Disneyland" remark. If you can't come out of that conversation feeling 100% okay, then there might be a need to create a vacancy in the significant other department.

On second glance, you seem to already have talked to her about the initial remarks. So, now is time for some contemplation...

Ezra

08-23-2006, 12:24 AM

I spent 24 years being "grown up" and really feel like I missed alot... I finally got over it. Now I'm having my second childhood. :wink:

Darkrider

08-23-2006, 12:55 AM

I was talking about how Disneyland really touches the hearts of pretty much every one. Ppl have a emotinal response to the Disney brand. You have Coke and Disney, you take them anywher in the world and ppl could reconise them...But if you ask who created coke the person prolly could not give you the answer but you ask who created Disneyland...Walt Disney. I find it hard that when ppl come to disneyland for their frist time or even their last to imagine it being a waste. A statment like "disneyland is for kids" is truly ignorant.

PeoplemoverMatt

08-23-2006, 01:19 AM

^ For the record, Dr. John Stith Pemberton created Coca-Cola in 1865. Source: http://www.digitaldeliftp.com/LookAround/advertspot_cocacola.htm

-- PMM :cool:

Loneknight

08-23-2006, 08:31 AM

Yes! A topic I can relate to!

A few words of wisdom:

"Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional."

I practically live by these words, my friend. It is a reminder and a mantra to me that, through all this hustle and bustle of everyday life, sifting through bills, commuting to work, we all have to remember that little inner child who is always encouraging you to have fun.

I like Vegas. Never been to Hawaii, but people have told me it's wonderful.

However, Disneyland is a home away from home. One woman I dated prior to meeting my wife did not understand this. I used to talk about Disneyland constantly, and not just of the park but the history behind the Disney company, Walt himself, and so on.
One day, I'm on the phone with her and I'm yammering on about something Disney, she blatently cuts me off and says, "Y'know, I'm kind of tired hearing about Disneyland, so we need to change the subject." It wasn't a pleasant tone, mind you....keep in mind, she did interrupt me...at this point, my heart drops and I'm sitting there with my jaw gaping open.
Later on, we were out to dinner with her parents, and the subject of Disney's California came up. I for one enjoy DCA, and I proceeded to tell them about it. Lo and behold, my ex leaned over and whispered to me, "Calm down, and mellow out." Most people here could relate that, when you get excited talking about something, it tends to show.

I dumped her two weeks later. Disneyland was just one of the few reasons why our relationship wasn't working, but the fact that she more-or-less insulted me just added fuel to the fire. Everyone has a right to express how they feel, however to respect someone else's viewpoints and have consideration for their likes and dislikes, I feel, is paramount. If we were all trying to change each other, we'd have no idea who we are....

Your inner child has every right to run, and if Disneyland is a place where it can do that then by all means, go. You just got over an illness, you're yearning for some fun, so toot your own horn, put your foot down, and tell her it's Disneyland or bust.

Besides, when you get there she'll probably enjoy it. :icon_lol:

chelsealela

08-23-2006, 09:37 AM

I know im just a kid, but in my opinion your girlfriend needs to grow up herself! Because what she said was imature and rude. At least try to take her to DL.

adrianne

08-23-2006, 09:58 AM

I wish you speedy recovery from your illness, ion777 99. I'm sorry that your girl was so rude to you. Believe me, there are lots of people out there who share a love of Disneyland (doesn't this site itself prove that?).

RankoAnime

08-23-2006, 03:34 PM

^^That's very true. It's funny because a lot of people won't admit that they like Disney, but they have Mickey antenna toppers and Disneyland license plate frames on their cars.

I've been ridiculed by several people for my love of Disney (and more recently Stitch). I can usually brush off comments from strangers or people I don't know too well. But when a close friend or family member insults me for it, it really hurts. Everyone has their quirks, so why can't others accept that?

My mom is somewhat accepting, but other times she blows up in my face. I've gotten the "You need to grow up!" comment several times. She's also told me I need to get in touch with reality (because I love to see/hug the characters, even if that means having to wait in a long line). I think I'm still pretty young, so why can't I be free to enjoy these things while I still can? :(

ion777_99

08-23-2006, 08:31 PM

Hey thanks everyone. I am still recovering so it will be awhile before I even get to go to DL :mad:. I still have 2 more surgeries, so the docs say we are looking at Jan 06. I might miss the great Christmas stuff, but that is ok for one year. I'll just log onto VF and watch all the great videos!!!

Any ways, we did have a long talk about it, amongst other things that were bothering both of us about each other (appearantly she doesn't like that I talk about tech stuff too. thinks it's too nerdy - even though I'm in the IT industry). Umm... ok. Now that's just too OC for me.

Needless to say, this was the last straw. A little hint for you wonderful ladies out there. Just let your men have their hobbies (I'm targeting those of you who don't) - especially if it has anything to do with Disney or tech stuff. :cool:

I mean man she has tons of stuff she is interested in that I HATE and yet I have made plenty of adjustments and have been dragged all over doing things I hate! But I always figured hey she's worth it.

Well, it might not be in our future to be together anymore since our little talk today just ended with her still not willing to go. It is not about going to DL (well, maybe a lot of it is), but it tells me a lot about how things might be in the future between us. We are just different. Any ways, sorry for making this forum my outlet and counseling session.

Well, back to the chase for the magic woman who share's the love for Disney!!! Thanks everyone for the encouragement! :biggrin:

PeoplemoverMatt

08-23-2006, 09:14 PM

^ Hey if you find her, let me know.

-- PMM :cool:

queensandkings

08-23-2006, 09:30 PM

People that say "Disneyland is *" or "Disneyland is for kids" really need to find their lost imagination.

*Admin Note: watch it...

PeoplemoverMatt

08-23-2006, 09:57 PM

^ It's not only their imagination they've lost if they're saying that.

-- PMM :cool:

Executioner

08-23-2006, 10:33 PM

I don't think having a love or passion for Disneyland and or Disney things is being immature.

PeoplemoverMatt

08-23-2006, 10:36 PM

Well it doesn't say much for a person's mental development when a prospective mate can't even tell the difference between having a thing for Disneyland and having a thing for coasters/theme parks in general & simply preferring the top park in the local region. Happened to me...

-- PMM :cool:

debijeanm

08-24-2006, 06:51 AM

I know im just a kid, but in my opinion your girlfriend needs to grow up herself! Because what she said was imature and rude. At least try to take her to DL.
Well said.

Being mature means letting others be themselves. It's lovely when two people who care about each other have interests they share, but sometimes you also have to just let others enjoy what they do without you. My brother-in-law is a hunter, which is repulsive to me, but I still love my brother-in-law and we just don't converse about hunting. And while I can't stand football, my husband has it on all season. And neither of them have anything to contribute to any conversation about quilting, scrapbooking or stitchery, all hobbies I enjoy. However, we all enjoy gardening and DISNEYLAND (bil has had premium APs for years and my husband - even suffering from severe motion sickness - enjoys his CASelect pass).

I guess you have to decide just how big a role Disneyland plays in your life and whether this person will be someone you can continue a relationship with. Can you not talk about things Disney with her? Is it fair to you to have to suppress this interest if she won't tolerate it? Do you show an interest in learning about things that interest her? Are there things you both enjoy?

I visit VF every day because you all understand. For me, Disneyland is a place I could visit every day and not tire of it. Not everyone feels the same way. Luckily, while my husband may not share my feelings, he's mature enough to let me enjoy myself, and I'm lucky enough to have all of you.

Legend_S

08-24-2006, 05:44 PM

Since when is their an age requirment for having fun at Disneyland?

Thats hard man, hope your gf can understand your love for Disneyland, I mean, why in the world do you need to grow up? She needs to grow up herself and understand that people have different tastes in things. Well, i'll pray for you and hope your surgerys go well, take it easy pal.

Harrison Hightower III

08-24-2006, 06:10 PM

I actually have been made fun of by my own Family aboot Disney. This happened like a year ago which was when I started loving Disney rides. I just went off on Disney and absolutly loved it from the rides to Imaginearing. So after a week I started making my family phychotic and they just went "SHUT UP!!!" I was just devastated by the fact that they didn't care and how angry they were at me. But then they appologized and told me to not talk aboot Disney so much so then I just stopped.

ion777_99

08-24-2006, 07:43 PM

Yeah. You see I can totally respect differences in interests, but there was no need for hostilities. She just took it too far man. There have been hundreds of times that she has dragged me with her and I never uttered one complaint. Hey I know there can be differences between two people. She just did not want to compromise with mine when I have for her in the past - I'll say again without one complaint. I can't recall how many times I have been shopping (for hours and hours, felt like I had walked around DL all day) with her and I just made the most of it like a happy camper. This is why I got so fried. She just makes everything about her and not us. She's gone any ways - we broke it off.

Soda

08-26-2006, 09:14 AM

AH, friends and *some* family make fun of my Disney obbsession.. But I mean, everyone has something they love, and people should respect that. If it makes you happy, you got to do it! And whoever I marry better be ready to go to Disneyland multiple times a year ;) hahaha.

kodiak

08-26-2006, 10:43 AM

my wife and i go every year for our anneversary. I will be 24 next month and she is turning 23.

krnsngr85

08-26-2006, 11:52 AM

awwwwww...how nice...young love....it must be love...I wonder...I consider Disneyland a place where anyone can go. I am only 20y/o(but 21 in October). Disney will never go away from me. Disneyland forever.

ion777_99

08-26-2006, 11:33 PM

my wife and i go every year for our anneversary. I will be 24 next month and she is turning 23.

See that's what I'm talking about. That is so awesome!!! I wish I could have that. Here's to hoping that I'll find her out there. Right PMM??? :biggrin:

wdwmickeyfan

08-26-2006, 11:39 PM

Unfortunately, I'm the only one in my family who's obsessed with Disney. I have gotten the grow up comments from my parents, and it does hurt. I love to take them to the parks and stuff but what's the point if they're not even enjoying it for what it is. I'm going to Tokyo alone next time :( ...

Alex_Toto_Disneyland

08-26-2006, 11:58 PM

^^ Same thing happens to me

Mikokat

09-02-2006, 12:25 AM

People at school said DL is lame and it's for kids and all that stupid talk. Well, their loss. Now, this is for everyone out there: ACCEPT YOUR BF/GF's HOBBIES. I know that I'm just 14 years old, but trust me on this one. Ever since I went back in 2003, I have been obsessed. My stepmom thought after a year or so, it would go away. Well, she was WRONG! My dad absolutely HATES DL, but he took me in 2003. He's not up for it again.

ttztotdca50

09-02-2006, 07:45 AM

Wow, reading all these comments makes me appreciate the fact that my parents accept my Disneyland obsession! In fact, it was my mom who kinda got me into liking Disneyland (she was a big fan when she was a kid). My dad doesn't really care, as long as I don't start some long conversation about it, he doesn't mind.

chelsealela

09-02-2006, 11:53 AM

yesimaprincess

09-05-2006, 11:41 PM

I'm lucky to have a family and lots of adult friends who share - or at least accept - my Disney obsession. Some people tease me about how I light up when talking about Disney parks, but they're the same people who come to me to get trip-planning advice! I agree with the comment about quirks - we all have them, and this is one of mine. And I like it! :tongue:

But some people just don't get it. One coworker had only had 2 bad Disney experiences as a young adult (how is that possible? Try being dropped off by grandparents to spend the day alone in MK and Epcot... OK, so most of us would be fine, but not on your first trip. Then being brought along to help watch step siblings who were too young to ride most of the rides. Yes, really.). When I finally drug her to the MK for Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party when we were in town for a convention, she finally saw Disney through my eyes and admitted she had a great time and could now understand why Disney is my "happy place".

As for Disney only being a "kids" place? Ha! The vast majority of my Disney trips have been with other adults (family, girls trips, etc.). On my most recent trip with my adult brother, sister and brother-in-law, we had an absolute blast and many other guests commented on how much fun we were having without kids in tow. Now that my siblings are starting to have kids, we're actually a little worried that our future trips won't be as fun when we have to figure out how to do exchanges, work in naps, and won't be able to run between the mountains at night to ride each one once more before closing!

For those of us Disney-lovin' singletons out there, we just have to add one more criteria to our list: accepting of his/her inner Mouse. :smile:

lpetiti

09-08-2006, 01:09 PM

Most of the people I know like (if not) love Disney and Disneyland. But there are some of my friends who just don't like Disney (they say I'm to old for it and I'm in high school). But, I just think that you should respect your friends and they should respect you

chelsealela

09-09-2006, 04:05 PM

If friends can't respect you and can't accept your likes and dislikes then i wouldn't call them friends. My friends love me for who I am. It's sad, how the world is so judgemental.

Think_Tink132

09-09-2006, 07:20 PM

my friends dont really care...they think i am a little weird because i love disney soo much but they dont really care...they understand i have been around disney for my whole life and if anyone had a problem with me liking disney then they can leave my life....(didnt mean to sound mean)
anyways i hope you, ion777 99, are doing ok and differences sometimes work, i guess she was too different...(im a little late, i think, to say that...all well, lol)

dreamscometrue2005

09-10-2006, 01:20 PM

chelsealela

09-11-2006, 03:39 PM

TO me I would only really love a man if he showed his true love for things. I think they deserve to have hobbies just like us women. I am obsessed with Disney and alot of times I have a hard time telling other teens that. But they are suprisingly supportive. I just think everyone should be only who they are. And love what they love. If it makes them happy it's worth it right???

DCT2005:redface:

Ya its worth it!! I have no problem telling people i love anything that has to do with Disney. And if they have something stupid against it I DON'T CARE!! So, I love Pooh!? So what? I don't care what they have to say about it. If it makes me happy im perfectly fine.

Disney_Guy

09-12-2006, 04:51 PM

Man, seems like a lot of people these days have less appreciation for Disney..

I went to DCA last August 20th (Yay for anyone else who was there that day!:p ), the very Monday, school, so I tell where I went last Sunday to some friends, and they basically ask me why I went there, rather than Knotts Berry Farm or Six Flags, while others thought it was cool.
Puts me down a bit..

Though I rather do what I like most, and going to a Disney park, is something that typical parks just don't seem to have.

Jen-Ness

09-14-2006, 04:17 AM

My husband gives me hard time whenever I mention going to Disneyland. He keeps saying "It's just a theme park". AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

Chatterbug

09-14-2006, 11:48 AM

Hopefuly he can appriciate how happy your enthusiam for everthing Disney makes you. I am sure there are many creative people out there that are thrilled to make others happy with thier hard work.

Does he have any interest in things that you maybe are not so crazy about.

While I like to watch some sports Football I am OK to watch off and on. I could not see myself going crazy over it, yet to many it brings excitement. That is great for them they maybe see way more into the strategies involved etc. than I care to. We should respect each others differences they make us who we are.
I do envy couples that share this enthusiam but hey having friends that do helps tremendously.

mousecrazy

09-14-2006, 12:04 PM

I do envy couples that share this enthusiam but hey having friends that do helps tremendously.

Awwww! <waving hi waving> Chatterbug has to be my favorite Disneyland friend... good traveling partner as well. :biggrin:

Jen-Ness

09-14-2006, 12:13 PM

he has things that I am not crazy about, but I don't judge. He loves his 1966 Triumph, and calls her Betty...I play along.

Chatterbug

09-14-2006, 12:36 PM

Even playing along sometimes I think we see each others eye rolls etc. I think it in human nature to not show some of our disinterest in each others facinations sometimes. If anyone I know goes on and on. (Like I can about Disney related stuff or sometimes gardening maybe a few other things as well.) I guess it can get old or even anoying if that interest is way out of what anothers interest is. I can think of many topics that I will lose interest in fast when others get more and more excited about them.

Amazing to me is that there are so many here on VF that share not only an interest in Disney but a certain admireration for all things Creative, Art, Music, Literature....Etc. Be Still My Beating Heart Sometimes I never thought I would know so many with the same enthusiasm that I feel.

Jen-Ness

09-14-2006, 12:44 PM

It is so nice having a home like VF!!

CoryTheRaven

09-16-2006, 06:28 PM

Vegas?! It's just Disneyland with gambling and pimps.

It's one thing to have different interests, and another thing to disrespect the interests of a partner. Unfortunately, the desire to build oneself up at the expense of others is pretty strong.

I once dated a girl who rolled her eyes at everything I liked. Didn't even matter what it was... Not a heck of a good time. Thankfully I don't have any particularly bad Disney-related horror stories. My most recent ex didn't care much for Disney, and dumped me right after my last trip to Disneyland. Apparently she uses it in her post-breakup assessment of me as "such a loser... I can't believe I spent that long with him. Like, he went to Disneyland twice... time to grow up." What can one expect though: she only liked the things that "alternative" people were "supposed" to like (which is an attitude that, granted, I pretty much have contempt for).

Right now I'm blessedly dating someone who doesn't really care about Disney but doesn't dislike it on principle. She'd probably go to DL if I took her (and I did offer that to my ex... she didn't take me up on it) , but doesn't have any particular interest in going out of her way for it. Which means at least she doesn't cut it down, which is nice.

A really nice place with relationships is if, while you're not into eachother's hobbies, you can be supportive of them. Like, if you know them well enough to buy them hobby-related things as presents or whatever. I'm sort of keeping an eye out right now for ways I can help my current girlfriend organize and display her coin collection, since I'm excited about it on her behalf. While I don't really care about coins, I think it's rad that she collects them.

Of course, a partner who is equally in love with Disney and would be running around DL as excited as me would always be nice too... In the mean time, I also have friends who've said that they would love to go to DL with me just because I'd be the best, most excited, person they know to go with.

As for Disney being kid's stuff... My initial reaction is to quote them Ray Bradbury's famous letter. My second is to show them the academic papers I've written on various Disney-related topics, like analysing representations of Native Americans in Davy Crockett or exhibit design in Disneyland and how that relates to visitor experience of authenticity.

Jen-Ness

09-16-2006, 06:55 PM

In my opinion, it is all about respect. Someone may not enjoy All Things Disney like I do, but they shouldn't be disrespectful to me and say I need to get a life. Oh relationships!!

ChanChilla

09-16-2006, 07:13 PM

Gah... I would not put up with that. It's fine that she may not like it, but it's really disrespectful to you to say something like that in front of people. Wouldn't she feel the same way if you disrespected her like that?

Kinda lucky, my guy knows full well about my Disney addiction.... and is slowly getting pulled into as well. XD

adrianne

09-16-2006, 09:59 PM

A really nice place with relationships is if, while you're not into each other's hobbies, you can be supportive of them. Like, if you know them well enough to buy them hobby-related things as presents or whatever. I'm sort of keeping an eye out right now for ways I can help my current girlfriend organize and display her coin collection, since I'm excited about it on her behalf. While I don't really care about coins, I think it's rad that she collects them.

*Applause*

I can't remember where, but I read somewhere that (in the author's mind) the definition of "love" is "to care about the other person's happiness as if it were your own". I think that includes respecting and supporitng each others hobbies and interests. Especially Disney...but I'm not biased, or anything :smile: